How to Come to Positive Terms with Yourself

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It’s a fact – there is not a single person on the planet that is completely happy with their life.

I’m not.

Your not.

Your neighbor isn’t.

Your neighbor’s dog isn’t!

I’m here to tell you, that’s okay.

I am not here to tell you how to be completely happy, because we got our ups and downs in life. I am not a magical fairy that can slap you in the face with a perfect lover, lovely comfortable house, dream job, and sweet little children. If I cannot obtain that, how can I give it to you?

I am here to give you some tips on how to come to terms with yourself, enabling the maximum amount of happiness you can obtain.

1. Blaming Others

It can be anyone from your lazy overpaid bossy boss to your overcontrolling parents, jumping into your annoying never heard of personal space friends. Okay, yes, there are moments when you can blame them, but there is a limitation.

My best advice is to communicate with them about your problems. Keeping your head down and your mouth closed is not a solution. Eventually, the stress will accumulate, and you will be miserable.

2. The Mind can be Deceiving

Your mind is a lot more powerful and controlling then you think – get it?

Your thoughts can become a reality. If you change your thinking process, then you will change your reality.

If you fail in your mind such as believing you are a failure, then you will become a failure.

I always used this example when I’m speaking with my peers – Horoscopes.

I had a friend who is a believer of horoscopes where, for example, it could say “You will meet someone special today.” She believes in horoscopes so much that she makes it come true. I’m not saying it is a bad thing to believe in horoscopes, but do not allow it to control your life. I had seen many others who turn horoscopes into something positive, and if they are happy then that’s fine! Good for them!

My main point is Positive thoughts, think them.

After all, they are free!

3. Stop Digging Yourself into a Hole

Sit there for a moment and think how many times you devalue yourself mainly when you see another individual who is much more accomplishing than you.

No one devalues yourself more than you because you see and think about yourself the most.

SoftHeart: “But, my lover think about me very often.”

HeartofTruth: “No! Your lover think about him/herself the majority of the time! He/She is a very very selfish person!”

I’m kidding, they probably do think of you but not that often.

Remember, do not undervalue yourself because you’re worth more than you think. Do not keep your expectations low (do not aim for unrealistic expectation either). It would help if you didn’t convince yourself that you never had the opportunity for something because you didn’t have the right connection, work experience, grades, etc.

You’re digging yourself into a hole, and the deeper you dig, the harder it will be to get out. Believe it or not, the hole may seem profound, but realistically it’s not. Jump out!

4. A Choice

You think you don’t have the choice to be happy?

No, you do.

UnhappyReader: “You don’t know me! You don’t know my life!”

Okay, that can either be an unhappy reader or a very angry teenager.

Back to the main point – that’s true, I don’t know you or your life. I do know you are a human (unless you’re not) who lives on Earth (maybe). I know you have some technological device and I know you are educated enough to read this decent written blog. You know more than you think you do and with all those things you can create your own happiness.

UnhappyReader: “Well what do you know, you get free time writing this blog when I have to work X shift for my X reason.”

SuddenlyUnhappyWriter: “You don’t know me! You don’t know my life!”

Yeah, two can play that game.

I may be writing this blog post at 3 am in the morning because I choose to sacrifice my sleep because this makes me happy despite my long hours at work. I decide to sit here and forgo something to gain the thought that I can help someone in the world. I had a choice, and so do you.

5. Comfort vs. Growth

Challenge yourself every day!

Yes, having a decent paying job that you’re good at is fantastic, but try going for a promotion! It is quite intimating and discomforting to ask if you can get a promotion, but you want to expand your life and knowledge. Do not limit yourself.

It doesn’t only have to be work, but go to a place you’ve never been or do something (legal) that you’ve never done! If you never ate sushi, try it! If you never went ice skating, go for it! If you never went to the movies alone, why not?

Avoiding discomfort is the equivalent of avoiding the feeling of being alive.

You want to feel alive; you want to thrive with life!

I’m writing this while I’m high on black coffee.