How Lazy Girls Lose Weight

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Laziness is an eight letter word that traps everyone – correction – nearly everyone.

If laziness is a crime, I’m ready for my shackles.

Of course, there are days when I’m so motivated; I wonder if an alien kidnapped me and experimented on my body. Then, there are those other days, where I can barely roll out of bed.

Now, what does this have anything to do with losing weight?

I’m getting there, but first, story time!

I admit, my metabolism is a tad faster than the standard. So, from youth to a bit over freshman year of high school, I was an intense eater. I consumed whatever, whenever I want. If I want a hot Cheetos at 2 a.m., then so shall it be!

Then, sophomore year slammed me in the face like a brick.

I gained a total of 15 lbs, which set me at 115lbs.

KindofHealthyReaders: “Gasp! How cruel! 115lbs!” – implement sarcasm

Now, Keep in mind I was (am) 4’11 ft (149.86 cm). Yes, I was still considered
“healthy weight,” but also keep in mind that I gained 15 lbs in less than 2 weeks.

It was challenging for me to lose those pounds – particularly since I don’t enjoy working out. I actually don’t start working out until my second year of college, but that is a story for another time.

Let’s roll onto my six tips on how I lost weight – lazy style!

*Please note: This will not show an immediate result, but with time, you will see the differences.

1. Don’t Be A “Calorie Drinker”

What does it mean to be a calorie drinker?

I’m talking about that can of soda, the glass of wine, or a cup of coffee. Now, before you bring out your pitchfork, I’m not telling you to stop drinking sugary liquids completely. What I’m considering, is to lower the bar of consumption.

Now, let’s lay down the facts.

It’s not a surprise that soda contains excessive amounts of sugar – we all heard this from Youtube, random advertisement, a friend, somewhere. A single can of soda, which is 12-ounce, contains roughly 8-10 teaspoons of sugar. The World Health Organization recommends only 6 teaspoons of sugar a day.

What a dilemma!

What more, in 2017, Framingham Heart Study stated that those who drink soda frequently are more likely to have weaker memory, smaller overall brain volume, and a smaller hippocampus (a part of the brain responsible for memory).

SodaLover: “But, what about diet sodas?”

AngryTroll: “I’m getting there.”

The term diet doesn’t necessarily mean it will be any better than regular soda. Framingham Heart Study suggested that diet soda may be linked to dementia and stroke. To get the name “diet,” these drinks are sweetened using artificial sweeteners that researchers have found can cause weight gain, particularly around the stomach, which can lead to Type 2 diabetes, inflammation, and increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

Now, makes you want to put that can of soda down, doesn’t it?

Again, I’m not telling you to stop intaking it but intake it wisely. Personally, I drink a can of soda per week. Now, keep this in mind, I used to drink a can or two every day – that’s not including coffee –

Over time, I decrease my intake – five cans a week for three weeks, then fours can and onward.

Do not force yourself to intake one can every three weeks when you used to be a heavy soda drinker like me – this can be done with other drinks. Give your body time to adjust, or you may recline to old habits on a stressful Tuesday.

2. Let Processed Food Progress Away

Unfortunately, processed food is loaded with calories and makes up the majority of American’s diet.

Package snacks, Instant Noodles, and the dreadful fast foods all have one thing in common – it’s fast, and it’s there.

After a long tiring day, we don’t want to do anything except lay on our gluteus maximus and eat a hamburger wondering why our boss won’t give us that damn raise we deserve. Unfortunately, similar to every action there are consequences – weight gain and perhaps feeling shittier by the day.

What I typically do is cook a good two to three sets of meals on one day, and that’s all my cooking for the week. Yes, it is tedious to eat the same meal, so I rotate. Plus, it saves some money in your pockets!

On days when I don’t want to eat the meals, I make a sandwich – it doesn’t hurt to intake carbohydrates.

It’s hard, I know, but try to turn it into a habit! Become a not-so-professional chef! If you don’t know how to whip up a quick meal, get a cookbook sweetheart or look online.

*This is one of my many favorite cookbooks!

It saves money and a negative attitude – trust me.

3. Drink the Emptiness Away

Hold your horses and put down that cup of alcohol. I’m talking about a water bottle, get one sweetheart. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just something that won’t crack like your cell phone when you drop it on the ground.

Drinking water has many positive effects, and I’m not saying drink eight cups a day – I mean who came up with this? This tall tale will be discussed another time, but for now, drink – water.

Drink when your thirsty, that’s all.

4. Messing With The Mind – Sizes Matter

When I say size, I’m not talking about the ding-a-ling!

Silence, okay.

Anyways, portion control is a relatively crucial for…the mind. Honestly, it’s all psychological that when you use a large plate, you want to fill up all the space compared to a smaller plate. The same can be said with slow eating, take your time to consume.

5. A Little Workout Won’t Kill

When I go to the gym, I know I’m not dying, but I felt like I was mainly when I hit that treadmill.

What do I do to stay motivated?

I imagine that cupcake waiting for me at home – okay, not the best advice.

It’s quite common knowledge that exercising is good for us. We know that, and the corporates know that hence that’s why it cost a ridiculous amount of money to open membership at 24-hour fitness – don’t get me wrong, I am a member there.

Now, we know the endless benefits of working out. Why don’t we do it?

It’s the struggle to find the time.

Majority of us go to school or work five, six, or even seven days a week! When we finish our day, a pile of paperwork or children are waiting at home for us.

“There is no time.”

What I suggest doing is to multitask.

During that commercial break on TV, try stretching. When you’re doing laundry, do some sit-ups. When you’re picking up toys, squat – or yell at your children to pick up those toys because you know you didn’t make the mess!

I used to do squats in the shower – imagine, a female squatting while shampooing – okay, don’t imagine it. However, after weeks of squatting merely twenty times every shower, results were shown.

6. Crawl, Don’t walk or Run

Majority of us fail because there is always a brick wall in front of us. When we hit that wall, we mess up, and I’m here to tell you it’s okay not to be perfect – perfection is overrated anyway. We all feel like failures, and it’s all right to feel that way, it makes you human.

Start small, really small – like do five squats a day or drink an extra cup of water. It’s okay not to do eighty-five squats like the rest of your friends because you will get there one day. It’s okay not prep for the whole week with homecooked meals. It’s okay to feel like you’re failing on a bad day and ate that bag of Oreos. It’s okay.

Say it with me!

“It’s okay!”

Remember you got to learn how to crawl before you walk – so take one tiny struggling step at a time.

After all, we all got to start somewhere.